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♥ Having friends or no friend?
posted by yukiong on Wednesday, 27 February 2008 at 5:28 pm.
I often wonder to myself that whether I have any friends since I came to this world. Although I often tell my family and my cousin that I have many friends in school, actually there are only 1 or 2 best friends that are really concerned about me. Perhaps I could say that there are practically none. Cos, I hardly can find a friend to confide in them whenever I am feeling down or having any difficulties and problem.

Sometimes, I would tell my cousin about the problems that I am currently facing and am hoping to release all the troubles. But most of the times, I would try to keep to myself and facing the challenges by myself and try to escape from the reality.

Often I am envious that why my friends and others can mix together so easily and have a lot of fun moments together. They can joke around, laugh, disturb each other and go out together whether going to lunch, watching movie or k-box. I, myself, would also want to be like them, going out with my friends, having a friend to talk to whenever I feel bored or encounter any problems.

It will be wonderful to have a friend to encourage me and giving me some advice.
Maybe I think that most of my friends will probably scare to hurt my feelings and won’t dare to talk to me and don’t know how to talk to me. Indeed, I am very particular about what others have said something bad to me and my feelings will be hurt. But I will not be angry with them or don’t be friends with them.

I guess that these are the reasons why I don’t have any friends to share my problems with them:

1. I seldom talk to my friends whether it is class, break, and class gathering or even when going out with them. Maybe it is because of my personality, like I tend to keep things to myself and do not dare to mix with other people. Sound like those people who have autism. Or maybe it is due to my inferiority complex that stops me from having to communicate with others.

2. I do not like to bother my friends or add troubles to them as everyone has their own problems.

3. Whenever I am with my friends, I feel that there is a big barrier between me and them like the two different worlds.

And that is why I keep cannot find any friends to confide my problem in them.

I guess that this is one of the part of my journey ba… Anyway, I hope that after reading this blog, don't try to stay away with me hor just because of don't want to hurt my feelings...