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ARGH!!! this few weeks, i have been getting too stressed, tired and a little bit upset about myself. there are too many things that i have to do like going to school for sure, doing that stupid FYP that has made me go siao, preparing for Nafa test which is at the end of this October, going to hospital to visit my grandma, going to wushu for training and most of all, it is about looking for a job. nowadays, i always have stayed out very late and woke up early in the morning and have slept for only 5 to 6 hours (only when i need to go to school). i then usually meet my cousin Jovin at her house and go to school together because we take the same train going to the same direction and i am very bored always going to school by myself. and don't be mistaken that she and i are studying at the same poly; she studies at Singapore Polytechnic. What i think of my cousin:  i feel that she is a filial, caring, encourages her friends and her family, always tries to make her friends happy even when she herself feel stressed when she is with her friends. my cousin and i usually encourage each other not to give up and be happy all the times whenever one of us is unhappy. i normally will not talk to her about my troubles because i think that even if i tell her, she will not be able to solve the problem and she will be probably will think too much. sometimes, she would buy and share her food with me or her family and i feel so warm-hearted and of course i feel happy being able to eat free food... haha... she would buy birthday presents or cakes for her family and our grandparents whenever she can afford. whenever i am with her, i always try to make her laugh as she always says that she is too stressed and upset. although i often like to tease her, we often have laughter and nearly have any quarrels. we also often like to take photo together and i feel that it is good to have a memory because i think that in the future, it will be harder for us to get together as each of us will be busy working. recently, she and her best friend have quarreled with each other and she asked me how to solve the friendship problem and i told her that if she really can't take it being together with her friend, then don't be friends loh. I, myself, have not really encountered this kind of problem and have no idea how to comfort her and i just give her my opinion. anyway, it is up to her to decide and i feel that being able to be friends together, it is hard to come by and to be best friend, it is even harder and we must learn to cherish it and not simply give up. ok, let not talk about her anymore. maybe next time, i will write more about her.Since the school reopens, my FYP is not getting along well as for this project, we need to use Django and Ajax to create the website in which my group members, including me, have not know what they are and have not learned before. we have tried to ask our supervisor for help but he always does not reply to us and he only meet us for only one time. and most importantly, he does not know anything about the program and dont know what to do as he is only just a technical officer and not a facilitator. and so our team has been getting demoralised and dont know what to do. but we have completed all the initial part of the project like those simple things. i also read up on some Ajax and Django but i keep cannot install that stupid software... i feel like giving up already... for the Nafa test, you guys will never think that this is the first time i taking the Nafa test. it is because i have not done PE in my primary school and secondary as my parents are afraid that i will have asthma. i still dont know whether if i need to go for the army or not. but if i need to go NS, i will feel very scared that i will fail my Nafa test because if i fail, i will have to go for the BTM for another 9 more weeks. That is why i joined wushu during year 1 in RP, and from that time on, i started to jog and train with my wushu members and go jogging every weekend by myself.  occassionally, my little cousin Roy will also accompany me to jog around the stadium track field for 6 rounds. i must say that he definitely run faster than me and he is 8 years younger than me. i have jogged for almost 2 and half year but still i cannot see any improvement in myself and always cannot meet the pass requirement for the 2.4km. maybe it is because i do not have enough determination or maybe i cannot take the challenge to run finish the 6 rounds or my heart cannot take it too much, i tend to run for only 3 and half round and stop to walk occasionally that i always cannot make it on the required time. and recently, i started to do the pull up as the exam is at the end of this October, i cannot even do it once and the minimum requirement for pull up is 3 times. that is why i now started training and take it seriously and i hope that by the time that the exam comes, i will be able to pass and at least get a silver medal. but on the other hand, i just want to fail it or get a bronze only, because one of my friends said that if i get a silver or gold medal, my training will be tougher than others that failed their Nafa test. deep in my heart, i hope that i will be put in a position where there is no training like being a clerk...haha...so comfortable sitting in an office...Last few weeks, my grandma has been hospitalised for about three weeks. she has no appetite and her body is very weak. and so sometimes if i am free after school, i will meet my cousin to go together to visit my grandma. as a result, i did not meet my wushu friends to go home together after school and i did not told them the reason why i did not meet them. my cousin and i usually reached the hospital at about 6. my cousin will usually buy food for my grandma and of course, sometimes i will buy food for myself at the hopital as i will stay very late. when we went there, i normally do not speak so much to my grandma because we are not very close to each other and have no common topic. and i wont take the initiative to talk to her. but my cousin is different, she has a lot of topics to talk to my grandma and they are very close to each other. i guess that it is because my cousin and my grandma were living together since my cousin came to this world. that is why they have common topics to talk with. every time i visit my grandma, i only sit on the chair or stand there for most of the time and sometimes, i feel that it is bored and helpless that i can't do anything to make her well or happy except accompany my grandma. Unlike my cousin, she will help to pour water and help her up to drink, know how to comfort my grandma and buy food for her. sometimes my grandma will say words like "I am going to die." and i practically dont know how to comfor her. sometimes, i will stay there until 7 or 8 then go home and i have not eaten then and feeling very tired. but i am glad that she has been discharged today and i hope that she will be well in future. As for wushu, i still go to wushu for every friday only. and recently, i have learned a new skill which is the drunken fist. i had wanted to learn new skill for a long time already since i finished learning my "staff" skill. coincidentally, i saw my friend learning the drunken fist and so i asked him to teach me. i feel that learning the drunken fist is fun and i want to the next "Jackie Chan" who shown the skills very nice. and this skills need me to drink wine in order to display nicely and of course, i will not be needed to drink wine in school as it is only training. Anyway, i hope that i will finish learning the drunken fist by the time i graduate. Lastly, finding a job is difficult. nowadays, i go online to search for job or reading the Strait Times, but i keep cannot find a suitable job. Anyway, i will keep looking for jobs and hope that i will find very soon. |
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today, the "hey georgous!!!" has finally come to rp to look for beautiful girls and handsome guys. there were really many students standing around the canteen when my 'makan gang' and i went to the canteen to eat. i guess that they all can't wait to see the fiona xie, desmond and benjamin and the special guests that were invited was the "mi lu bin". haha... actually my friends and i also want to see the star and see got any luck if they got notice us or not... too bad, nothing happen and we went back to our individual class. after finished the lesson, i went down to do my FYP and on the way to the library, there were really many people standing around the hall to watch for the contestants' performance and at the same time, they get to see their favourite artiste. first time, i really feel that it is a very big occasion that many students were actually gathered around the hall and it is hard for me to get passed the place. haiz so sad... never get to see the live performance and don't know who the winner is and i guess i have to wait for the tv to broadcast the show. i also had wanted to take photo with the artiste but paiseh la... Anyway, i hope that the RP winner can win when they compete with the other constestants from different schools. hope that RP will become famous so that those secondary school students will go to RP as there are really many beauties and georgous... haha... |
